You’re not going to like the sunburn you’re going to get. You know you aren’t wearing any pants, right? (These are all joking/amused comments, not stern) Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a camera right now. If you’re going to walk around naked all the time, we need to talk. If you’re trying to impress me, it’s not going to work. Your fashion choice there, that takes some chutzpah. Get some clothes on, you’re embarrassing us. Well, this makes it easy for me to conduct a physical inspection, at least. I believe not wearing clothes is considered taboo? But maybe that data is old. 
I know the world has ended, but certainly we ought to strive for a little common decency. I dare say, you’re leaving little to the imagination. Um… sir/mum? You’re bearing all to the world, and then some. Sir/Mum, I’d be remiss were I not to inform you of your bare-cheekedness. Well, that doesn’t leave much to the imagination now, does it. 
Hope you’re not expectin’ me to take my kit off too.
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